Friday, Oct. 11, 2002 1:03 p.m.

I'm feeling

This is what happened at the NIH. Steven and I found out that the study I was originally going down for was pretty intence. There are two drug's involved 1)ATG: this would be given IV in the NIH. I would need to have this for 4 day's then I would be started on 2)Cyclesporin: this I was on as a child my mother remember's me being crabby on it(but she tend's to think I was alway's moody)so who's to say how I would react now. I would then be put on steriod's (in my opinion worst then having pins stuck in your eye,I have never had pin's in my eye's but it must be better then steroids)the steriods whould only be for a little while.I would be on the cyclesporin in the hospital then sent home with it. I'll be in the hospital for almost 2 week's. The first 4 day's will be a blur and I will be very very sick. When I finally go home I will

need to have my blood checked every few day's.Then in 6 month's go back to the NIH. Now there have been 12 people who have tried this in the past year and 3 have responded,they no longer have DBA.

Now you wonder WHY NOT JUST DO IT STUPID. Well I have tried other studies in the past and I got very sick,more sick then when I started. Then the drug did not work. the question is do I want to make my self sick on purpose and maybe have no result? What do I do if ATG cause's something else to go wrong in the far future? I just don't know what to do. Any insite would be great.

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